Life has been…..unhealthy.

6 Jun

I didn’t even bother looking at when I last posted because I know it has been a long while. Life in Dallas has been interesting. I never particularly loved the DFW area, and I took a chance moving here, but haven’t been very happy. My depression and anxiety have gone through the roof, and the number of panic attacks I have had has gone up 15x over the previous 3 years. I know some of the cause, but as it is not an easy fix, I am having to learn how to deal with all 3 of those things to keep myself from going off the deep end.

If you know me, you know I don’t like doctors. I don’t like being given medicine to fix myself. I don’t like talking through what’s bugging me. I really don’t like that I can’t fix myself on my own. I have turned to meditating. Which ended up just turning into me hiding in my apartment every weekend to decompress from the world.

Was moving here worth what I am currently battling? In some ways, yes. In a lot more ways, HELL NO.

Do I regret my choice? Almost every day. But it was exactly that: my choice. So I have to deal with the fallout.

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Gallifrey One 2015

23 Feb

If there’s one thing I look forward to every year, it’s the Doctor Who Con in LA, Gallifrey One. After the miserable last half of 2014, I was halfheartedly looking forward to my other “family reunion”. I honestly don’t go for the guests any more. I go to see all my friends from around the globe, and then  the guests are a bit of bonus.

Ignoring some drama, I arrived in LA the Wednesday prior to the convention and automatically felt relaxed. Nothing like being able to block out reality for a few days. Insert all the adventures of taking LA public transport to see the shuttle Endeavour at the California Science Center, to our Doctor Who cosplays mashed up with comic characters on Friday, to saying goodbye to everyone on Sunday….it was a pretty damn good time. Didn’t get to do everything I wanted, but saw most everyone I wanted to, so still a WIN. I’ll let some photos explain the trip. Ready for next year, and more tourist time in LA.

xox
peace & love
jess

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Why I’ve smiled lately…

5 Jul
I can’t put EVERYTHING in this list that has made me smile (keeping it PG lol), but here’s a small sample from the last month and a half (sorry it’s been so long!):

 

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It’s two of my favorite animals in one photo! I need more cute photos like this 🙂


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Spent Comicpalooza with two awesome friends. Shout outs to Molly and Mark! It was definitely an interesting blast, because FOUR DOCTORS! 😉

Speaking of Doctors……..

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I was able to mark another Doctor off my list: the Fifth Doctor! He may not be my favorite Doctor, but I have found I absolutely adore Peter Davison ❤ Plus come on, this photo is awesome (mainly because we were all laughing as my wig had attacked his face at first)


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Gotta love us Shafer gals 😉 Family embraces your weirdness (only because they are just as weird!)


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Helped End Alzheimer’s on The Longest Day this year with my loves, Team Wine Lords. Always have a blast with these people.


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And most recently, spent a long weekend with my parents celebrating their 35th Anniversary  ❤

Love you Moeder, love you Dad!

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Our world has gotten a little darker

17 May

Sir Eduard Fens: Vader, Opa, Echtgenoot, Overgrootvader, Broer……passed away over night.

He was one of the strongest men in my life. Smart, loving, indomitable, and a bit quiet.

So many memories have been going through my mind since the news reached Texas that he was on a downward swing. They’ve been playing in my head like home videos. Then when Moeder rang me an hour ago and let me know that he passed, those home videos became snapshots. Stills. All movement ceased. My heart breaks a little more with each one that pops in my head.

I know the routine. “I’m glad he’s not in pain anymore.” or “His soul is in a better place now.” That’s all fine and dandy, but………

My heart goes out to Oma. Mij Moeder, Tante Lia, Oom Ed, Tante Patty.

Opa, we may cry over your passing, but know that these tears will be replaced by all the loving and fantastic memories we have of our time with you. ❤ ❤ ❤

Ik hou van jou.

jou kleindochter,

Yessica


 

You didn’t die just recently,
You died some time ago.
Although your body stayed a while,
And didn’t really know.

For you had got Alzheimer’s,
You failed to comprehend.
Your body went on living.
But your mind had reached its end.

So we’ve already said, “Goodbye”,
To the person that we knew.
The person that we truly loved,
The person that was, “You”.

And so we meet again today,
To toast your bodies end.
For it was true and faithful,
Until right at the end.

And so, when we remember,
We’ll think of all the rest.
We’ll concentrate on earlier,
And remember all the best.

For in the real scheme of things,
Your illness wasn’t long.
Compared to all the happiness,
You brought your whole life long.

We think of you as yesterday,
When you were fit and well.
And when we’re asked about you,
It’s those things that we’ll tell.

And so we meet in remembrance,
Of a mind so fit and true.
We’re here to pay our last respects
To say that, “We love you”.

-Unknown (via Alzheimer’s Association)

So behind…

20 Apr
I know, I know….I’m way behind on the Doctor Who April Challenge. I swear I’ll catch up tonight after everyone is in bed.
Meanwhile, I finally got to play Doctor Who:2048 and I can say that I am glad I don’t have a computer at home 🙂
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I decided to stop at this point, because Nine and Sixey. My two faves ❤
Other than that, Happy Easter, Happy 4/20, Happy Passover, Happy Sunday….whatever floats your boat.

xox
jess

#TheFavoritesofDoctorWho April Photo Challenge – Day 11

11 Apr

Favorite “Behind The Scene” Photo

 

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The Ninth Doctor, Christopher Eccleston, is my Doctor and I love seeing photos of happy times on the set. I wish he would’ve enjoyed the working environment enough to stay a few more seasons, but I’m happy with what I’ve got and these behind-the-scene gems are fantastic <3.
Have a great Friday y’all!
xox
jess

#TheFavoritesofDoctorWho April Photo Challenge – Day 10

10 Apr

Favorite Pop Culture Reference within the show

 
I’m drawing a blank, so I’m just going to leave this right here 😉

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#TheFavoritesofDoctorWho April Photo Challenge – Day 9

9 Apr

Favorite Harry Potter/Doctor Who Actor

Mark Williams

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Really was a no brainer for me, but I love Mark Williams, so I may be biased 🙂

xox
jess

#TheFavoritesofDoctorWho April Photo Challenge – Day 8

8 Apr

Favorite Director

 

 No brainer: Graeme Harper!!

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#TheFavoritesofDoctorWho April Photo Challenge – Day 7

7 Apr

Favorite Children In Need Special

 

Time Crash: 2007

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xox
jess 

 

#TheFavoritesofDoctorWho April Photo Challenge – Day 6

6 Apr

Favorite Heartbreaking Scene

 

Rose haters turn to the right. Donna Noble lovers, turn left (and I’m so, so sorry!).
(This will be in vid form, so….yeah)
 
 
 
 
and let’s not forget this sub-plot:

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xox
jess

 

p.s. Today’s challenge KILLED my emotions, thx 😛

 
 
 

#TheFavoritesofDoctorWho April Photo Challenge – Day 5

5 Apr

Favorite Writer (Classic Series)

 

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Episodes/Stories are:
1. The Seeds of Death (uncredited)
2. The War Games (w/Malcolm Hulke)
3. Robot
4. The Brain of Morbius
5. Horror of Fang Rock
6. State of Decay
7. The Five Doctors

#TheFavoritesofDoctorWho April Photo Challenge – Day 4

4 Apr

Favorite Episode/Story Title

Day 4 will be short and sweet:

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Specfically this episode of the story:

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See, short and sweet. See y’all tomorrow and hey, TGIF!!!!!
xox
jess

#TheFavoritesofDoctorWho April Photo Challenge – Day 3

3 Apr

Favorite “Behind the Sofa” Moment

I have three favorite “behind the sofa” moments.  They aren’t necessarily scary moments, but they did send a shiver down my spine.

 

The first comes from the Series One episode “The Doctor Dances”: “Are you my mummy?”

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Specifically when the tape ran out 30 seconds prior *shiver*


 

The second is from the Series Four episode “Midnight”:  “Oh look at that, I’m ahead of you.”

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The mimicking alone was bad, but when it started talking BEFORE the Doctor…..FREAKY!!!! >_< 
And let’s not forget the terrified look on the Doctor’s face as he orders his own murder.

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The third was my first taste of Classic Who Cybermen, in the Season Five episode: “The Tomb of the Cybermen”: “You shall be like us.”
These are the scariest Cybermen IMO, because they still have mostly human characteristics. That on its own seals the deal for me.

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So that’s Day 3. Hope you enjoyed my favorite “behind the sofa” moments!
Have a great day, lovelies!
xo
jess

#TheFavoritesofDoctorWho April Photo Challenge – Day 2

2 Apr

Favorite Historical Person

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Today’s photo challenge was a no-brainer for me: Vincent van Gogh (Series 5’s Vincent and the Doctor).  Tony Curran did a beautiful job portraying him. I could wax eloquent on his performance (and about Tony himself), but honestly you should just watch the episode. The episode is wonderfully written, especially surrounding his mental health.

Here’s a clip from the museum scene. The quality isn’t the greatest, but I love this scene!

 

 

Hope y’all enjoyed my Day 2 of this month’s photo challenge 🙂

xo
jess

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